The Orca and the Spider: On Motherhood, Loss and Community

I wrote about the grieving orca, Louise Bourgeois’s monumental spiders, women’s work, and the challenges of raising a child and mourning a loss as a mother in diaspora without a family support network.

“The first time I saw “Maman,” one of a series of monumental steel sculptures by the artist Louise Bourgeois, was in Roppongi Hills, Tokyo, where I was on vacation with my husband and son. Someone who wasn’t familiar with Bourgeois or her work might be surprised at the association of maternal feelings with an insect that usually triggers an instinctive loathing. But a quick look at the descriptive label reveals that Bourgeois appreciates the spiders’ industriousness and skill at weaving, a reference to her own mother who was in charge of mending tapestries in the family atelier. She describes spiders as friendly creatures that provide a valuable but thankless service to humans by trapping and eating other insects. Cleaning up, removing obstacles, finding food, and defending the nest: these are all classic examples of a mother’s work.”

• Read the full essay in The Offing. This essay was nominated for Best of the Net and was a semifinalist in the Boulevard Nonfiction Contest and Sewanee Review Creative Nonfiction Contest.