The Pencil Test

A short-lived relationship with a much older man and famous writer forced me to question my ambition and confront issues of power, privilege and consent.

“That night in the hotel restaurant, he insisted on feeding me oysters, which I had never tried before. I slurped one down and did not enjoy it, then ate a second one just to be sure, and hated it as much as the first. What I remember most, but did not say out loud, was how everyone stared at me, the only nonwhite person in the dining room and quite possibly the entire property.”

• Read the full essay in X-R-A-Y.