Island of Oblivion

After two breakups in one year, I felt lost and unmoored. Then a friend invited me to spend New Year’s Eve in Ibiza and I thought… why not?

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“I’d almost forgotten about the ecstasy. It was so gentle (I’d only taken half a capsule) that its influence on me was imperceptible, and I didn’t notice any change in consciousness the way I always notice the warming, dulling, loosening effect of alcohol. It was the most natural of highs: I felt energized but not hyper, relaxed but not numb. The most remarkable and pleasurable effect of the drug was that it silenced the unrelenting motor of my restless, conscious mind—the part of my brain that never stops thinking, worrying, reacting—but it left the lights on, so I was still fully aware and coherent. Like a soothing balm for an overstimulated mind, it turned off the accumulated noise of waking consciousness, replaced those thousands of tiny pinpricks with a feeling of intense calm.”